lkasjdflkasjdlfalsjdf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We've got bugs! Big freakin bugs!
I found two dead a month ago and thought no big deal. They're dead. I left them for Andy.
I found another live one last week. One live one yesterday and another LIVE one today!
You guys...you don't even understand. Bugs make me wants to cry.
I hate bugs. But I have major, major issues.
I can't kill them.
I'm not even a tree-hugger-type who doesn't want you to kill the bug. I want the bug gone...like, two seconds ago...but I physically can't bring myself to step on it. The crunch sound and the aftermath with the yellow bug guts and the detached arms and legs makes me want to vomit.
I wish I was stronger. I really do.
Yesterday Andy and I almost got a divorce over a bug. I asked him so kindly while he was changing the babies diaper...ANDY! HURRY...Big Freaking BUG...by my feet...in the Kitchen...HURRY!!! Please HURRY!!!
I decided to set up a boobie-trap and capture the bug until Andy came.
He majorly pissed me off because 1. He didn't hurry 2. When he finally came into the kitchen he REFUSED to kill the bug...and said that he wanted to see if I could kill the bug as a test. He wants to see me do it so he could be positive that if he's gone I would be able to successfully kill the bug. Jerk.
The next ten minutes consisted of...
some pleading...Please baby, please kill it for me!
some begging...What do you want? I'll do anything! Don't make me do this!
some demanding...No, Andy, seriously, you're killing the bug...do not walk out of this room!
He wouldn't do it. So I scooped the bug up in a baby food container and started to carry it to the back door, the whole time saying...I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. 1/2 of the I hate you's were for Andy and the other 1/2 were for the bug. The bug slipped out from my boobie-trap a few feet from the door and landed on my foot. I screamed!! Then I started to cry. Then Andy told me I was acting like a 5-year-old and I should step back from the situation and take a good look at myself. He grabbed a shoe. Smashed it all to heck. Tossed the remains outside and went into the other room.
I get it guys. It was just a bug and it may have seemed like I was over reacting. BUT c'mon. All I really wanted was for the Man of the House to do the manly things while he's at home. I'm home alone enough doing everything on my own. Why try to make an example out of a bug? Just kill it for your wife. Can I get an Amen? I acted mad for a while and when he came back into the Kitchen he started talking about something he found on the Internet and was totally over our little tiffy. I still wanted to dwell on it for a bit more and stay mad. How do men get over things so easily?
Anyhow. Brace yourselves for the following pictures. The 1st picture is the bug from yesterday right after I boobie-trapped it. The 2nd picture is the bug I captured today. SEE ANDY??? I didn't let it get away. But don't be surprised if it's under your pillow case when you get home in the morning.
We've got bugs! Big freakin bugs!
I found two dead a month ago and thought no big deal. They're dead. I left them for Andy.
I found another live one last week. One live one yesterday and another LIVE one today!
You guys...you don't even understand. Bugs make me wants to cry.
I hate bugs. But I have major, major issues.
I can't kill them.
I'm not even a tree-hugger-type who doesn't want you to kill the bug. I want the bug gone...like, two seconds ago...but I physically can't bring myself to step on it. The crunch sound and the aftermath with the yellow bug guts and the detached arms and legs makes me want to vomit.
I wish I was stronger. I really do.
Yesterday Andy and I almost got a divorce over a bug. I asked him so kindly while he was changing the babies diaper...ANDY! HURRY...Big Freaking BUG...by my feet...in the Kitchen...HURRY!!! Please HURRY!!!
I decided to set up a boobie-trap and capture the bug until Andy came.
He majorly pissed me off because 1. He didn't hurry 2. When he finally came into the kitchen he REFUSED to kill the bug...and said that he wanted to see if I could kill the bug as a test. He wants to see me do it so he could be positive that if he's gone I would be able to successfully kill the bug. Jerk.
The next ten minutes consisted of...
some pleading...Please baby, please kill it for me!
some begging...What do you want? I'll do anything! Don't make me do this!
some demanding...No, Andy, seriously, you're killing the bug...do not walk out of this room!
He wouldn't do it. So I scooped the bug up in a baby food container and started to carry it to the back door, the whole time saying...I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. 1/2 of the I hate you's were for Andy and the other 1/2 were for the bug. The bug slipped out from my boobie-trap a few feet from the door and landed on my foot. I screamed!! Then I started to cry. Then Andy told me I was acting like a 5-year-old and I should step back from the situation and take a good look at myself. He grabbed a shoe. Smashed it all to heck. Tossed the remains outside and went into the other room.
I get it guys. It was just a bug and it may have seemed like I was over reacting. BUT c'mon. All I really wanted was for the Man of the House to do the manly things while he's at home. I'm home alone enough doing everything on my own. Why try to make an example out of a bug? Just kill it for your wife. Can I get an Amen? I acted mad for a while and when he came back into the Kitchen he started talking about something he found on the Internet and was totally over our little tiffy. I still wanted to dwell on it for a bit more and stay mad. How do men get over things so easily?
Anyhow. Brace yourselves for the following pictures. The 1st picture is the bug from yesterday right after I boobie-trapped it. The 2nd picture is the bug I captured today. SEE ANDY??? I didn't let it get away. But don't be surprised if it's under your pillow case when you get home in the morning.
p.s. Please someone tell me this is NOT a cockroach. If it is. I might just die.
p.p.s. I hate bugs
14 comments:
mo get Colt and EVACUATE!!! i am right with you for where you stand with the bug issue, they make my skin crawl... and yes honey those are roaches.... i have seen those back in my college years (eeeeewwwwey,)which is why you have seen more than one because there is never just one roach... call the exterminator and pack up baby and go to your parents house!!!
Yikes my friend...you need my bug guy to come out and spray. Uh oh. That is a bug that even my bug guy might be scared of. LOL
Hope you don't find anymore...that would totally freak me out too.
1. I'm pretty sure that's a roach
2. I had a similar experience yesterday with a spider, eventhough I don't mind being the killer, I'd rather Ryan do it since he is the man of the house
3. If you don't look at the napkin post-squish, you won't notice the yellow guts and detached legs.
4. I love the hilariousness that is you.
yikes!!
ok, don't panic... does it have brown/orange on it's back? do you see them mostly in the morning and late evening? these are both roach tendencies [we'll have to talk about how i know that later, ICK!]
it might be a stink bug, i according to our apartment complex they are common...
and don't worry, nic got pretty miffed at me for my bugaphobia as well :P
First of all, they aren't roaches, and second of all, that isn't a roach. I too have seen a roach or two in my day, and these bugs are not them. Everyone relax, no need to evacuate Mo, just learn how to kill the stinking things and be done with it:)
BUG UPDATE: These bugs aren't fast like roaches are. AND they don't scatter. Actually, I've never seen a roach so I'm not sure what their like...but I've seen movies.
They're slow...kinda stupid bugs. One I found in my kitchen and the other I found on the steps going down to the basement. The other two were in our bathrooms.
I think I a bug guy.
okay, the trick here is to turn on the light at night and look fast. They will run like criminals if they are roaches. Not, that I have ever had one. Well, our first house...ewww. I could spot them a mile away. If you have slow moving bugs.. They are water bugs. Look for standing water.
:)
yep..it's a cockroach. Call the bug guy!
http://www.infobreaks.com/pestguide/index.html
ummmmm I think they are right. But, how fast does it really run. That is key.
Let me be the voice of reason here.
1. They look like a roach
2. Andy has seen lots of them in his life. He likes the cream filling
3. I'm pretty sure they are there to feed off of Clarice's body. You should look into that possibility
4. Miffed because Jen repeatedly screams out in bloody murder. Which makes me think something is really wrong like she has hurt herself or the place is on fire.
5. I tell this to Jen and now I'll tell you bugs are bugs and they are everywhere.
6 Sleep tight...I'm sure they aren't crawling in your bed and laying there eggs in your hair
PS You guys are great, we need to do something some time
Mo, you know you are always welcome to evacuate in my direction. I am on Spring Break. Let's do lunch, soon:)
Tell Andy, to wave his magic wand and make those buggies go away:)
OK Mo, seriously, step on the dang bug. You've given birth...you CAN step on a bug.
BTW...Totally IS a roach.
No I can't.
In Texas...we call em waterbugs...and they are almost impossible to get rid of...seriously...but they are not as bad as the cockroach. We use to have em in college and one day i was munching on some doritos and looked down and one was in the bag...uughhh...vomit! Those bugs r so big...u can actually hear them crawl across the floor. like you....i cant stand to step any kind of bug...let alone...clean up the guts...I always have me a can of bug spray that I drench em with!!! So thankful I dont have to deal with those anymore...just scorpions...although I think i have those just about run off now :-)!
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