choose love

I've been holding on to my babies a little tighter this week. I know it stems from the loss of the little girl, Ava that I blogged about earlier this week. When someone you know leaves this earth at a such a young age you want to ask questions. There are so many things I don't understand. Being a mother it hits too close to home. That could have been my baby girl.

Andy was at work when I heard Ava had passed away. I grabbed my babies, left my house a mess and brought them to bed with me. Colt hadn't ever spent the night in my room before so I wasn't sure what I was in for I just knew that I needed to hold him tight and tell him how much I loved him. He saw me crying. He scooted his head over to my pillow and gave me some kisses. We had been praying for Ava every night so we prayed together some more. He finally fell asleep with his feet on his Dad's pillow and his head at the foot of the bed. Molly slept like an angel in her bed next to mine. I watched them sleep and prayed for them.

When my cousin Marie was 2 she was hospitalized. She had gone to the doctors office multiple times that week and was sent home every time. They said she had allergies or a cold, I forget the details. She slowly deteriorated at home for a few days until my Aunt and Uncle had had enough. They knew it was something more. They were watching their baby die. They rushed her to ER and determined Marie had double pneumonia and her left lung had collapsed. She was in intensive care for weeks in an unconscious state. We almost lost her. It was scary.

I remember my Aunt sharing a story with me that happened while she was in the hospital and it has stuck with me forever. She was sitting in the intensive care room, watching Marie sleep, talking to God...having a hard conversation. If I lose her God, will my faith be strong enough to carry me through? During her prayer, Marie's doctor came in to check on her. She walked in the silent room, didn't say anything and before she left said said to my aunt, 'You know, she's not yours'...

It's so true. We're on this earth as a loan to the people that love us. If God wants us back. He can have us. We're not any ones but his.

I have never met Ava or her family. I just know them through some friends. If I've been effected by her life like I have I'm sure there are others out there getting a wake up call. That's my prayer. Choose love. Live with no regrets. Wake up. Quit waiting. Be thankful. Forgive. Life is short. Love your family. Love Jesus more.