fancy panties

No, this is not a blog about my underwear. I hate to word panties anyway. Instead it's a blog to make all you sympathize with me for a second...

Andy is great but since we've been married I've been forced to ask the question 'Why?' one too many times. He does weird things. Here is an example.

-He told me one day [in a very nonchalant voice] that he order a bird incubator online. A bird incubator?...I asked. Yes. He then went on to tell me that he also ordered quail eggs online and that we were going to raise quail. Quail!?! Why?!? We have a bird dog and the plan was to raise the quail and then have Copper sniff them out, 'point them' and then attack them. I was okay with it at first because I wanted to support him and I thought to myself, 'What happens in the garage, stays in the garage'. A few days later after asking him a few questions about our soon-to-be quail farm he told me the eggs were in the incubator in the basement. The garage was too cold. You can imagine what I said next. Long story short...we had baby quail...in an incubator...in our basement. They turned into big birds. I put my foot down because while Andy was toying with the cage one day a quail flew out and got lost in our unfinished basement walls. They got moved outside. Copper killed them all. I will never do that again.

I could keep blogging about the wonders of Andy but instead I'll get back to my fancy panty talk. We bought Copper with the intention of breeding her. Since that thought [years ago] I have said many times, 'Screw this...lets get her fixed'. But my hub insists that we're going to breed her with a dog he met one time at the gun shop. Arranged marriages never work...but since I'm the best wife ever and stay true to my vows of for better or worse I deal with doggie periods. Ewww. Sympathizing yet??

Sunday while Andy was at the station and I was hanging with the baby I noticed red dots on my white rug. Oh the sadness I experienced. The anger followed. Copper had started. I should have noticed by how oddly lethargic she had been all day. I wanted to be mad at her but the woman inside me sympathized. I wonder if dogs get cramps? She went outside and I whipped out the stain lifter and searched the dog drawer for her fancy panties. It's quite gross changing a dogs mini-shield. It's quite exhausting tieing and untieing her fancy panties every time she wants to go outside but I do love her and it's what I have to do.

Every morning Andy and Copper walk to the mailbox together to get the mail. Yesterday Andy wanted to go alone because he was embarrassed of Copper in her fancy panties. I insisted she go. Maybe the public humiliation of the situation will force the issue...and then again maybe not.