not so funny timing

Yesterday I mentioned how Colt is getting slap happy. Sometimes he thinks it's a funny thing to do but usually he's does it just to beat you up. Every once in a while when I pick him up to go change his diaper he holds his hand out in front of my face like...I'm gonna slap ya mom, ya better let me run around with poop in my pants OR ELSE!

He also completely looses it every time I change his diaper. I mean, LOOSES IT! He'll immediately flip around on his changing table, slapping, screaming, crying, acting like I'm cutting off a finger. I then flip him back around and try to talk in a calm voice over the screaming. Quite the patience tester.

Yesterday I had to pin his chest down with my forearm while I tried to take his pants off and get a new diaper out. Then I started to sweat and get pissed. I started to raise my voice, then after a few more minutes of this madness I was screaming and he was screaming back. We were both totally out of control. Well, I was still in control, but I've never had to act like a barbarian. I eventually took him off his table and half body slammed him against the floor. He started kicked my belly so I pinned his legs down and I think after our 5 minute fight [I'm NOT kidding, 5 minutes] he started to loose strength and eventually stopped.

In the midst of world war III, I thought about just putting him in his crib and walking away or just letting him win and letting him go run and play. I wanted him to obey, not win. I eventually got the diaper on the kid but I'm no Super parent. I think it's clear that cool-as-a-cucumber-Mo has no clue what she's doing.

Last night I got in bed and just bawled at my crappy day. Andy was mowing & working on his mowers all day while inside I didn't even have control of my own child. For the first time last night I totally questioned whether or not I can raise two kids? This temper tantrum stuff Colt is starting up is coming at the completely wrong time. I mean, really? Right before I have a newborn he kicks in with this crap?

I need a book. Anyone have a book they've read on toddler-ing?

Today at diaper change time I'm going to try all new things. Bribing, singing, wearing a mask and acting like an idiot...anything else I haven't tried, I'll try.

Babies are easy.
Toddlers are more confusing than men.

eventually she has to come out...right?

We're still waiting for baby girl to make her entrance. Andy has started up Andy's Lawn Care and he's a mowing weekly now...sometimes twice a week. Colt has started slapping me. Actually, after Andy asked for an eskimo kiss this afternoon and Colt wound up his arm and slapped him right across his pretty face, I think it's safe to say I'm not the only one getting slapped around here.

I made a to do list.
Thought I'd share...
-mop
-sweep
-pack my bag for hospital
-clean the car
-put infant car seat in the car
-eat some oreos
-sleep
-wonder when I'll have the baby
-sleep
-eat some more oreos

That's what I'll be doing until the baby comes...
JUST in case you wondered.

wanna know why his eyes are crooked?

Because he's so happy he can't see straight!
Today my hubby takes his last final.
Seriously...I might do a back flip.
Or one of those running heal kicks.
Thank you lord!
It's over.
We're back.
Now let's have this baby.

a hospital outfit

I found some funky ribbon on sale and just kept on bedazzling plain onesies and hats. I'm hoping Molly can fit in this. It's newborn size and Colt didn't really fit in newborn anything. We shall see. But isn't it adorable?
I guess I could put it on and stretch it out for her.

38

I'm technically not 38 weeks until tomorrow but let's round up people, shall we? 
I feel as if she's getting pointy. 
I've got a baby bullet.

dang...so we wait.

Hello my lovely friends!  I woke up this am to a whiny butt Colt at about 4am and couldn't fall asleep so I thought I'd take the time to blog...because let's face it, it's been a few days and I...I, I love you guys. [sniff]

Yesterday I had my 37 week Molly appointment.  I was secretly wanting to hear, you're really huge...let's take you now!  It would have gone down as one of the only times that being HUGE is considered a good thing.  Instead they told me that I was still 2cms/80% effaced, measuring at 39.5 weeks and at 37 weeks along, I was too early to induce.  So we wait another week and create a plan from there. 

My doctor was really kind and kept saying, I know you're ready...I know you're done but.  I had planned on crying at my appointment to see how far that would get me but the actress in myself just couldn't pull it off.  So much for that Oscar.  Of course as soon as the doctor said he'd see me next week and left the room I looked at Andy and I thought about crying.  It was justified but I just decided to just say, Dang...so we wait.  Andy said he was proud of me for not getting upset over something I couldn't control and then bought me the largest chocolate ice cream cone DQ had ever seen.  It helped.

My mom recently had lots and lots of free time open up in her schedule and my Dad is still waiting for his job to start back up after his brain surgery fiasco so my buddy boy and I have been practically living at their house.  It's really been a blessing since Colt is in the lets-run-as-fast-as-I-can-from-my-pregnant-waddling-mother phase.  We've had a ton of fun together the last few weeks.

Speaking of my buddy boy...Colt is starting to talk!  Last week just about 95% of his vocabulary was one word 'Bah'.  Now he's saying...car, truck, bird, doggie, mama, dada, papa, pat, milk...there are many more but I can't think.  If you would ask Colt to say car you'll hear 'ca', truck is 'cuck', bird is 'buuuur' so some of his language is up for translation but I know exactly what he's saying and really, at least he's trying.  He's a smartie boy.  Ahhhh, I love him.  He's tall and more slender and we buzzed his hair the other day so he looks like a 5 year old.  [double sniff].

In other news [just call me Chatty Cathy] I got my hair did this week.  I almost canceled my appointment because I was having a bad pregnant morning but I slowly started to feel better and the blonde highlights lifted my mood.  Here's a before and after shot.  I was feeling very America's Next Top Model-esque in the first shot and trying not to make a weird face in the second...which resulted in an even more bug-eyed weird face.

My nails also look really good.  Sounds quite stupid but when I'm having a bad moment good hair and nails makes me happy.  And my son, he makes me happy too. And Andy.  I really love him.

Whelp.  I'm off to start my day.  I've got the joy of the Lord in my heart and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a good one.  A pregnancy massage is in the works, possibly a nap, a trip to the station to visit Daddy and to see the fire 'cuck' then who knows...maybe I'll break my water with a crochet needle.

Until next time...
good afternoon. 
good evening.
and good night.

stuck

We had a great weekend. Andy passed another written final. He has his first national registry exam today. Colt and I are about to head out so he can have some peace and quite and get his study on. Once he passes today he will have one more national registry practical exam next Saturday and then he will be a certified para. BAHHHH! We're so close! I'm so proud of him.

Ok, off to start a busy day, but wanted to share a funny video from last night. I heard Colt whining in his room. I thought maybe he wanted his paci and couldn't reach it or was just frustrated about something. Frustrated he was! haha. He's so funny.

just a little buggy bug

I'm going to make all my blog titles seem as though I've gone into labor and popped out the kid really fast with out any updates, just to keep everyone on their toes. [Just for you Court Helman. WOLF!!]

Thank you to all my dear friends who encouraged me yesterday that all the vomiting & diarrhea was my body preparing itself for labor. Although that is a very true sign that labor is on it's way, I woke up this morning feeling much better. As the afternoon progressed I was able to say that I was actually feeling pretty good. Still having contractions but no longer feeling like a royal piece of crap.

Right after my declaration of health, Andy looked over and said, I think I'm gonna barf. He then continued to get sick the rest of the day and he is currently sipping Gatorade while curled up in the fetal position on the couch next to me. Say a prayer for the poor lad if you can. Tomorrow he has his first state exam for his paramedic class. It's not just a scantron either, it's his practical exam...so he'll be asked questions and have to physically perform a paramedic's duties in front of numerous instructors. I'm pretty sure he's got it in the bag, I just hope he can hold down some breakfast.

Whelp, that's all I got. Still having braxton hick contractions every so often. Some are weak, some make me bend over to catch my breath. Over all, it's just my bodies way of faking me out. I'm pretty sure I've got some time...maybe even a few more weeks. OR MAYBE NOT. Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

plain white t's

What do you do when you have a million plain white onesies?
Take some ribbon and make them girly!
And ya see that hat??
I crocheted it!

I'm a crafty son of a gun.

ultrasound

I'm so out of it this post is going to be choppy and lackluster. Forgive me.

Today was my ultrasound for Molly. She was 8lbs at 36.5 weeks. They didn't check me because at my last appt I was already 2cm/80% they said I was close enough then to go into labor on my own and surly I haven't gone backwards. So now it's just a waiting game.

Good news is we got a clear shot of her girls parts and she is officially a girl. She's healthy and chunky. She also had her eyes open during the ultrasound and winked at me.

Bad news is I feel like a royal piece of crap. I've had diarrhea all day. I had one bad round of violent vomit and lost everything I'd eaten all day. I'm having braxton hicks contractions every so often and some pretty bad back pain. My eyeballs are crunchy from crying so hard after my appointment while thinking of having another 10lb baby. And I'm pretty sure I'm getting hemorrhoids. Hip Hip HOORAY! Now you really know everything about me. How do you like me now?

I have a feeling I'm having some prelabor. I don't feel like myself, AT ALL. We'll see how this evening goes. I might call the Doc. Then again, probably not.

I took Colt to my parents to spend the night because I officially can't keep up with him. Andy is home and being extremely kind & sensitive. Maybe I'll convince him to rub my feet. I'm gonna go try to eat a turkey sandwich and eventually swallow the fact that the Preparation H applicator is totally going to violate everything that was private and sacred to me.